Will the Truth Set You Free–Issues Around Disclosure

Life would be so much easier if I were an open book about being bipolar as it conceivably “rules my life.” What do I mean? I am not speaking of the actual disorder itself, but the life situation I am in because of it. The corporate job I left behind after having a manic episode and quitting– because the job was too hard to handle. The fact that I do need constant help (psychotherapy and medication among other things) to manage my symptoms.

When a guy on a first date asks me, “What do you do?,” I pretend my volunteer gig on Wednesdays is an actual part-time job.  I tell him that the apartment I have, (granted by a social service agency), is entirely mine and paid for by this “job,” not by means of the disability check I get because I am bipolar. If I want to raincheck my date, I don’t say it is because my mood is off kilter; rather, an urgency occurred. When a hiring manager interviews me, I don’t feel comfortable disclosing that the gaps on my resume are due to being hospitalized for mania, instead I use a fabricated story I found online.

So, I tell half-truths. Or sometimes flat out lie. This is grounds for a shaky relationship.

~Melissa