How to Stay Madly in Love

With the divorce rate at near 50% it seems as if true romantic love is elusive at best and possibly mythical. If you’re lucky enough to fall madly in love with someone staying that way can be difficult. Celebrating things such as Valentine’s Day is one of the ways of reinforcing the feelings of deep attraction but how can you maintain the feeling of being madly in love after the honeymoon phases has ended and real life kicks in?

Falling in love is easy (with a little luck) but staying in love can be more of a challenge especially as children are added to the equation. Life stresses such as career change (or loss) can be detrimental to a loving relationship. So, how to do long term couples stay madly in love?

The short answer is they work at it every day and every night. The long answer is more complicated. There are a lot of things we still don’t understand about love. However, there are many things that people who are in love long term do to increase their odds of staying in love. If you want to maintain a deeply loving relationship with your partner, here are some of the things you should be doing:

How To Stay Madly In Love

Have Frequent Sex – Couple who have sex often show more activity in their left posterior hippocampus. Happier couples had happy hippocampuses so have more sex to activate that region of your brain.

Forgive – Couples who were in highly satisfying long term relationships make a habit of forgiving one another. Everyone has disagreements, but not everyone holds a grudge. Forgiving when we are hurt is the basis for building a committed intimate relationship with another person so love often and forgive often. Once you’ve forgiven them don’t rehash the past. Let it go, you’ll be much happier when you don’t let ego in the way of forgiving.

Ask “How was your day?” – This simple question contributes so much to a happy and healthy relationship. We all want to feel as though someone cares for us, that someone truly cares how our day went. In the beginning of relationships we want to know everything about the other person, but along the way many of us stop asking this simple question. Make it a habit to ask how your partner’s day went. They will feel cherished and that translates into long term feelings of love.

Say “I Love You” – It should go without saying that couples who are in a long term loving relationship say “I love you” regularly. You can’t say these three little words too often so make a daily habit of telling your partner how much you love them.

Love Your Partner’s Family – When in a deeply loving relationship many couples reported that they made an effort to treat their partner’s family just like their own. The same goes for any children from previous relationships. Acting as if everyone is a big happy family goes a long way to making it so. If you find you can’t get along with some of their family, don’t disparage them to your significant other or anyone else in the family. If you must vent, save it for a BFF who can keep your confidence.

Skip the Passive Aggression BS – If you’re having a fight with your partner don’t ignore their phone calls or texts. Respond to your partner no matter how upset you might be. On the flip side, don’t be so busy that you can’t communicate each day just to say you love them. Couples who communicated regularly and courteously reported more intense feelings of affection.

Do Date Night – Make an effort to get away regularly so you can spend time focusing on each other. This is so important when children come along, it is also much more difficult to achieve. Set a weekly night aside where you have a babysitter and a few hours to yourself.